Crash Test Dummies Blog

Written by Brad Roberts


28 May

truck stop yoga


i have developed what i call “truck stop yoga”. it is intended for long driving days. when i’m touring with crash test dummies on the road, i’m doing long drives nearly every day.

the first key piece to truckstop yoga is to do it with your back to the wall. you don’t want people behind you, as this makes you vulnerable to ogling and attacks. a wall in a low-traffic area of the truck stop is best.

secondly, use the wall as a boundary. if you need to lean against it for a pose, do so. i have lousy balance, so i use the wall to get me into tree pose.

thirdly, do standing poses only. this is because the ground is dirty. (i also wear my shoes, to avoid broken glass).

finally, keep the poses simple. basic poses hold just as much power as do the more exotic variations. hold the pose longer, using each breath to tweak your alignment and move into the pose more deeply.

the best all-purpose pose is this: stand with legs wide. clasp hands behind the back. bend forward, taking your arms with you. hold for 5 breaths, deepening the pose with each breath.

doing truck stop yoga saved my back. and i’ll be at it again come june 4th when we begin to tour again!


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21 May


hey folks – long time no blog. this is the first time since our tour started that i have had the chance to sit down and look at my email. the road has been tough, physically, but the shows make it all worth while. we’ve had excellent crowds, and the trio sounds spectacular. nothing but glowing reviews from the audience at least.

this is the end of the first leg of the tour. we resume in june on the west coast of the USA. looking forward to all that greenery :)

ellen has taken her cd on the road with us and is doing very well. and she looks better than she ever has. she does 3 songs in the set, one, her own.

playing ‘two knights and maidens’ is something i haven’t done for a long time. fans seem to enjoy it. it’s a blast for me. one my favorites to play.

we’ll be doing a canadian tour in october. when the dates are firm, i’ll let you know.

i’ve heard some very touching stories from people about our records. i tend to forget that music is a trigger for memories, much like one’s sense of smell.

a gentleman who served in the gulf war told me that he and his shipmates “lived” off of our record during the tedium at sea. and while i don’t like war (who does?)
it meant a lot to know that my songs and our records have helped people through tough times. i need to remind myself of this every time i’m feeling “washed up”.

the t-shirts (and panties!) that my wife designed are now available through the store on this site. they are very beautiful, and they also make it possible to pay for touring. so if you want to keep me on the road…you know what to do.

thanks everyone for reading.

all the best

brad roberts


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08 May

toronto


hey folks

just got back from a press and promo trip in toronto.

all went very well. there is real enthusiasm and energy around this release. it pleases the old man. we’ll get out to canada in october.

in the mean time the US dates are about to begin. we will have the new record for sale, also ellen reid’s record, and some gorgeous new merch designed by my wife.

so many of you have posted thoughtful comments. i try to keep up with them, but they are sandwiched amongst literally thousands of bogus spam crap. i’m sorry if i miss your post. and if you don’t hear back from me, i’m just to overwhelmed with input! i really appreciate all of your kind words.

hope to see you soon.

bard


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28 Apr

Album release May 11th


Hey friends family and fans –

How about this new web page, huh? Let’s give webmaster Jerry

Brace a hand for doing such a fine job. You’ll see some of the artwork

from the CD appear on this site, which was done by the beloved Juni Moon.

Thanks Juni!

I’m getting really excited about the new record. I’ve done lots of great press, and have plenty more coming up. For you Canucks, we’ll be playing on TV – Canada AM on May 6th.

Aside from the shows in the US that are posted on this site (“TOUR”), we may possibly do some shows in the South: check out Atalanta, perhaps Austin – but that’s all TBA at this point. We also plan to play in Canada come October. I’ll keep you

posted.

I’ve finished three literary biographies – Virginia Woolf, TS Eliot, Ezra Pound –

and am now starting a small one on James Joyce. It feels so great to be reading again.

My wife Michele has finished designing CTD t-shirts, panties, tank-tops, children’s t’shirts…the whole 9 yards. They are pretty sassy and pretty beautiful. I hope

we can sell ‘em, because, ironically, they are what fund the tour! So we made

sure we have good stuff.

All for now.

Lovebeads…

Bard


23 Mar

A reason to blog again…


hey folks – i haven’t gone over the many comments and posts that have come inthe last few weeks. will get on it soon. in the meantime, we have dates! hope to see you there. i don’t tour much!

love-beads and incense, brad

………………………………………..

May 11 – Philadelphia, PA – World Cafe Live

May 13 – Foxboro, MA – Showcase Live
May 14 – Northhamption, MA – Iron Horse Music Hall
May 15 – New York, NY – City Winery
May 16 – Vienna, VA – Jammin Java

May 18 – Cleveland, OH – Beachland Ballroom
May 19 – Ann Arbor, MI – The Ark

May 21 – Madison, WI – The Majestic
May 22 – Chicago, IL – Martyr’s
May 23 – Milwaukee, WI – Shank Hall


04 Mar

things are movin’ along


howdy folks

even though i am a literature snob, i’m going to dispense with capital letters.

mid-may remains our target date for release of Ooh La La. i just got advance copies and they look and sound great. also, some dates in mid-may are getting closer to confirmation, here in new york city and some of the other major north eastern cities.

i’m famous for hating touring – except the show, i always love that – but this time i’m looking forward to it. i’ll have my good friends stuart cameron and ellen reid, and wayne o’connor to do sound and tour manage. wayne has toured with us for many years, and he’s just about the best guy to have on your side i can think of.

the van drives will be the same old stuff – holding one’s pee, leg cramps, crappy truck stop food. but i also plan to bring some reading. i’ve had my father send me my books from college years, and i’m rereading a lot of stuff. it sure looks different 20 years later. and i’m finally reading biographies of the people whose work i studied. i just finished ts eliot and ezra pound. what a couple of awful lives they led. i’m looking forward to going back to people like milton. i already know a fair amount about samuel johnson through his acolyte boswell. so much out there to read.

i’m going to buy a video camera soon, that i might do “live” blogs from the road. they are making them pencil thin these days. if i can figure out the technology, i should be able to shoot vid’s off to the website.

i’m also thinking of getting skype or something so that i can do yoga classes in my hotel room with my teacher. it’s way easier to do when someone is kicking your ass. i can do yoga alone, but like anything, a trainer never hurts.

keep yankin’ yer own chains, folks….

best

brad


22 Feb

sunday night insomnia


well folks, it’s sunday at 6:50AM and i haven’t slept all night. had kind of a fun one, though. puttered around, read, watched old movies.

crash test dummmies are still aiming for a may release and some tour dates on the NE seabord (May) and the Southwest (June). none of the dates are set, it’s just something we’re shooting for. the album art continues to evolve and we’re talking about doing some animated video with it. i did a photo shoot which turned out very well. there are a few blogs about me, and i should get a write up in billboard.com at some point. (they interviewed me.)

so things are finally moving along. in the meantime, i’m still baking bread every day, and yoga is an obsession. i chant (in sanskrit and ancient hebrew and greek and english) every day – fck off if you don’t like it. i have found new resonances and nuances in my voice as a result.

i’ve discovered only recently that for me, singing is a great way to wake up my body. i’ve always felt like shite in the morning.

and i think that’s part of why people sing in the shower. it’s a great place for acoustics, and the hot water and steam opens the lungs and sinuses and ear canals and moisturizes the whole nasal and throat passageways. turns on your body and your brain.

i’ve also noticed that if i MAKE MYSELF SING, i feel better. weird but true. i guess it’s like the old saw – they’re not singing ’cause they’re happy, their happy because they’re singing.

can’t think of anything else. thanks for hanging in there with me. it’s been quite a few years since i’ve put out anything. this stuff takes the cake. a lot of completely new directions. and great lyrics. among my best. if i do say so myself, and i do.

have a good week, folks


16 Jan

can’t sleep


more insomnia. oh well. gives me time to blog.

my mom sent a batch of my favorite homemade oatmeal cookies. i just got the recipe from her, in case she dies! she also makes a mean roast beef with yorkshire pudding. i can’t make the pudding like she can, but i’m working on it.

you meet the strangest people in new york. today a guy asked me if i was homeless, and offered me a ride. no thanks! i didn’t think i looked that grubby. i should have got the sicko’s license plate.

i hate my landlord. i extend olive branches all the time, and he just won’t take them. thats right folks, i don’t own an nyc apartment. or a car. or a country home. i don’t even have a stereo! i’m just not interested in spending money on crap like cars and real estate. i can walk, and i don’t need to buy a money pit. i’d rather fight with my landlord.

none of this is very interesting, so i’m signing off…

best

brad


08 Jan

Happy New Year 2010


howdy folks,

I don’t know about you but I’m glad that the new year is here and we can get on with our lives after the so-called “holidays”.  Actually, my Xmas day was great, spent at home with my wife and a friend. No relatives, no gifts, just a good home cooked dinner. I’m also lucky to have fantastic in-laws, so when we do visit them in Michigan, it’s not a problem. They have an old 3 story house in downtown Detroit – and yes, it is crime-ridden – but the house is gorgeous and Michele and I get an entire floor – the 3rd – to ourselves, complete with bathroom! I crawled into that womb on Jan 27th, and came out profoundly rested.

I wish I could say I knew when this next record is coming out, but we’re having some problems assembling a team to do it. Press, Radio, Marketing, Distribution, Digital Downloads – all these things have to happen in tandem. The only thing that I can promise you is that the cover art is the best yet by a long shot. Juni Moon is working on it now, and it’s a great collaboration. I highly recommend her.

My birthday is on Sunday January 10th, and I’m teaching a class in chanting mantra that day. If you live in or around Manhattan, it is being held from 12:45-3:45 at Virayoga, 580 Broadway, between Prince and Houston in Soho.

Hope to have a release date to announce sooner than later!

Happy Happy Everyone

Bard


12 Dec

Party


Hey Folks

Well, my wife and I threw a helluva party thursday night. Haven’t thrown a party in 2 years. Some rock star I am, huh?

I always enjoy watching people get drunk. When they are good and snoggered, one can pump them for information.

Michele garlanded the whole house with pine needles and put white lights in them. She also bought and lit about 100 tea

candles, and the place looked fabulous. she made roast lamb, and set out cheeze and grapes and breads. It was a very festive

time.

I have the best wife in the world.

brad


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