Crash Test Dummies Blog

Written by Brad Roberts

22 Aug




On July 10, 1974, an unassuming man was gearing up for his job that night. He was small in stature, but quick on his feet; his eyes were bright and alive to the world. His face appeared somewhat flattened out. His forehead protruded: and this, combined with a nose which seemed to spread across his face, created a kind of strangely brooding effect, stamped, as it were, forever onto his expression.

He hummed a mindless little melody as he checked over his weapons. He kept a tiny apartment in an unremarkable small town in Manitoba, where he had only the barest essentials. It was like a satellite around which he revolved, doing jobs around the province for drug dealers, farmers, and lawyers and doctors alike; whether in town, country, or in the city Winnipeg itself. Put simply, he made people disappear, for a fee. And it seemed there was always someone who wanted someone else to disappear. Or at least enough for a man to make a living.

It should be noted that the man did not have an evil heart: he did not harbor Ill feelings towards his victims, he killed the men on a purely professional basis. He felt no remorse, and indeed had no reason to; the men he killed were themselves killers. He did a good job and was well respected; there is, as they say, honor even among thieves. In his personal life, which was not significant, he rode the ups and downs as well as he could. He was unattached to any female and his only family concern was his mother, who he kept comfortable with an allowance at an expensive Senior Citizen’s home.

His job tonight was routine: a small biker gang, petty rivalry. He would play his part, make a large sum quickly, and go back into his carefully-monitored world. But it wasn’t a routine job after all.

The man received 15 years without parole. The judge wanted to set an example. These biker wars were scaring voters, and besides, the man gave him the creeps, with his forehead and nose.

The moment his sentence was passed, he knew he would be out in the world again long before 15 years had passed. He would find a way; it was, for him, a given. For he was a man so constituted that he could look at the situation no other way.

4 Responses to “A MAN CALLED PIGFACE”

  1. By brad on Aug 22, 2010 | Reply

    this is the prologue to my novel, “a man called pigface”. it will be published serially on this blog. please take advantage of our RSS feed if you’d like to have these sent directly to you as they come out. see “subscribe to our feed” at the top of the page.

    any and all feedback will be taken into consideration as i rewrite the novel, week by week, “live” on this site, so to speak.

    thank you readers. for taking the time to read more than a twitter. hate me, love me, but don’t ignore me.



  2. By Mishell on Aug 24, 2010 | Reply

    Looking forward to what’s coming next. Thanks for deciding to share. :)

  3. By brad on Aug 25, 2010 | Reply

    thanks mishell. it gives me courage!

  4. By Mishell on Aug 25, 2010 | Reply

    No problemo. I love to write but I lack, completely, the courage to share my stuff with people, so I admire you for that.

    I have a random question for ya. I was cooking dinner just now, and ‘It’ll Never Leave You Alone’ came on my iPod. I’ve always loved/wondered about the beeping horns in the background. It makes me think of the sound of the world, if you were standing on the roof of a tall building at night. I’ve just always wondered where you were when you recorded that one. I love it.

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